AW11 TRENDS: BEING BORING (with boring fashion on the side)

Posted by Melanie Rickey, Fashion Editor at Large

I'm going to tell you something you might not like. You are fricking boring. Booorrring. You make me want to cry tears of sheer and utter head-banging against a table-top frustration. It's not just you, I'm boring too. Well, actually, it's not quite like that. But it has been firmly established that Being Boring is a powerful trend infecting music, TV and culture in general. The Guardian last Thursday summed it up succinctly, citing our love of Adele, Kirstie Allsop, baking and Downton Abbey as key signifiers of the movement christened The New Boring by the excoriatingly smart popjustice.com editor Peter Robinson. All together now "We coudda had it aaaa- aa alll, rollin in the deee eee eep." Even now, as I write this, me and the Fashion Junior are listening to "Don't Your Remember" with a tear threatening to trash our carefully applied eye makeup.

Nice, boring jumper from L'Agence on Net-a-Porter.com just what the doctor ordered!

Well, I'm here to do my bit for boring fashion. Hopefully you're already in your pyjamas? Sales of those have gone through the roof recently, and you'll find the trendiest online and real world stores are heaving with sensible cable knit jumpers, lace up shoes, dull mannish coats, pared-back shopper bags, satchels, polo necks and novelty reindeer and snowflake jumpers. Alexa Chung's successful collection for Madewell is the height of Being Boring, what with its Bin Man Coat, and cosy cardigans. 

So dull, even the bin men stopped wearing them. Alexa Chung loves her Bin Man Coat though. 

It sounds wrong on paper that we should aspire to -  nay even enjoy - boringness, but in fact we are all rather partial to it right now. I know I am. I draw the line at X-Factor and Coldplay's new album, but Frozen Planet is currently the highlight of my week, I can't listen enough to Arcade Fire's The Suburbs and my favourite new fashion item is a Isabel Marant Navajo inspired sweater. It certainly seems that we have an affection for boring things and find them amusing. How did this happen? Recession obviously. Dire straits cause us to contract into a smaller world of familiarity and safety. This directly correlates to our penchant for novelty Christmas jumpers.


The Pet Shop Boys brilliant ode to how not to be boring: "Being Boring." (1993)

When the Killing II hit BBC4 this weekend, all everyone could talk about in print and on Twitter was Sarah Lunds jumper. A fricking JUMPER. Boring! Yesterday aftertoon while Hugh Grant gave evidence to the Leveson Enquiry, inane and amusing Tweets about the #womanontheleft began trending on Twitter.

Grenson for girls at My-Wardrobe.com

At the weekend a young codger named James Ward hosted the world's first Boring Conference in London. Here's how yesterdays The Sun newspaper reported on it. "IT was billed as a dreary look at life's dullest things — the world's only Boring Conference.  Speakers were lined up to talk on topics so mundane that delegates would be forced to poke themselves in the eyeballs with sharp objects just to stay awake.  After the cancellation of the "Interesting" conference last year due to lack of interest, Ward tweeted that there should be an alternative event called Boring.  The response from his Twitter followers was so huge he had to follow it through and stage an event. James said: "Last year we held a much smaller gathering but this is the first ever conference. I can't believe the number [400] attending.  Subjects included polite small talk, electric hand dryers and the first ten years of Which? magazine 1957-67. But once the conference started it all went horribly wrong — it failed to bore the audience rigid." Oh how I laughed. 

 Nostalgia with a hefty dose of boring: a Cambridge Satchel Co. satchel, 

Borring! From the New York Post's The Cut blog that boringly follows every outfit K-Mid wears

Protest against Being Boring here: Snow Bored by Ashish from TopShop

GLITTER SHOES: OUTDAZZLE THE NUDE

Posted by Fashion Junior at Large

Miu Miu FW11. Note the glitter shoes sparkling as they walk away on the left (Image from catwalking.com)

On the shoe front, Summer 2011 has been rather dull. Duchess Kate brought nude heel 'fever' upon the nation, egged on by early enthusiastic ramblings about the leg-lengthening magic such a shoe might offer. Nobody ever thought that though one's leg might look longer, the effect of no feet or shoes might be so disturbing as to detract from any initial benefit. ANYWAY, September is here and the fashion press are keen to move on from Summer's yawn-inducing blip. Lisa Armstrong at The Telegraph and Karen Dacre at the Evening Standard have both plumped for the red shoe as the New Nude. I would like to introduce you to the real fashion choice: the glitter shoe.

I understand that the red shoe is probably a more likely contender for what Kate wears next but the for the rest - break free! Abandon the nude boredom (by the time of Zara Philips wedding, the entire Royal clan had nude feet) and have a glitter party a la Miu Miu and Dolce Gabbana. The great news is that although these styles are particularly fabulous in heel form, the brogue and trainer versions will also bring glitterball brightness to an autumnal morning. The ultimate members of the glitter heel club are the Miu Miu varieties, some of which have already sold-out. Thankfully, there are still plenty to chose from but here are our favourites.

Miu Miu at My-Theresa £555

 Marc Jacobs at My-Theresa £525

Love the glitter/calf texture clash on these Miu Miu at Net-a-Porter £400

Glitter slippers- Pedro Garcia at Net-a-Porter £225

ASOS £40





Sparkly brogues at Dolce and Gabbana FW11 (Image from catwalking.com)

 These are boys shoes but they would be rather wonderful for emulating a Dolce and Gabbana catwalk look if your feet are anything over a size 6. I would love to spot a boy with beglittered feet, do you know any who might dare?


Glitter for Boys: Ask the Missus at Office £71.99

 If your glitter fixation knows no bounds then you could spend the whole of the next few months swinging between a Miu Miu heel and a Miu Miu trainer. We are very seriously considering that option.

Available at Miu Miu stores and concessions